In November of 1991, I participated in a contest in which for 26.2 miles I ran, jogged, walked, stumbled and in the end all but crawled across the finish line. It was for me the dream of a lifetime-the ultimate test of self-discipline, perseverance, and endurance-the celebrated New York City Marathon. The crowds that came out to support the runners were electric. The energy and excitement of the event felt comparable to any major sporting event, and every runner was on the home team.
The crowd roared as our route took us through the streets of Staten Island, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, and Manhattan. I, we, absorbed every smile, shoutout and cheer from the various faces from people of all nationalities, genders, and ages. It is one of the most exciting and moving experiences to be the giver and receiver of joy just because you have the desire to succeed at something most people consider too hard to even try. The reason I finally decided to participate in this event was that it was the best way for me to celebrate 5 years of being clean and sober.
This was big. I had come back from a lifestyle that was killing me. This day I was not only alive but enjoying a life free from the shackles of addiction. This day was vibrating with life and the heartbeats of an estimated crowd of a million spectators who were coming out to witness, cheer and ultimately support the over 50 thousand marathoners.
Reflecting on that day what I neglected to mention up to this point was the thing that made this day and the past 5 years possible was a slogan that I had heard in an A.A. meeting while in rehab. It was "Surrender the War is Over." I loved it and immediately embraced it. Hearing this slogan was a "wow moment" for me.The slogan was simple yet profound. I was at war, with myself, and I was losing. I felt like I finally had permission to quit this insane lifestyle. The slogan was novel, yet so simple, and most importantly easy to remember.
As I kept going to meetings they said surrendering was the only way to end the vicious cycle of self-destruction that is addiction. They said when we stop living a lifestyle run amok by self-will and replace our will with the will of a wise, loving, and just "power greater than ourselves" only then could we be at peace with ourselves and restored to sanity. Desperate for change and thrilled with the message of hope and promise of freedom I surrendered and it worked. Without a doubt, l owe my life and newfound freedom from addiction to my HIGHER POWER whom I chose to call God.
So crossing the finish line, head down, exhausted, I noticed my sweat-drenched t-shirt was sticking to my chest. It was a standard white t-shirt with cut-off sleeves on which I had painted in purple ink the word SUR REN DER. I smiled as I wondered if anyone of the thousands of people who may have seen SUR REN DER on the t-shirt understand the power in this simple phrase? Maybe. That would have been nice. Most importantly though I understood. I was proof that a simple slogan can change a life. I believed them when "they" told me "surrender the war was over"-I had lost. And although I lost the war, if I surrendered-I could win back my life.
It was a cathartic and triumphant day running in this contest. This contest was completed in 26.2 miles. Life is lived in 24-hour mini-marathons, in which you compete against yourself to become better than you were the day before. And life truly gets better and better with each passing day that we "make the decision" to turn our will over to a power greater than ourselves.
SUR REN DER to win, and let the power of this slogan save your life.
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